GOD’S KIND OF LOVE IN MARRIAGE BY ANDREW WOMMACK MINISTRY

There are very few things in our world today that were ever a part of God’s perfect plan for mankind. The elaborate government systems, with all their checks and balances and laws, would not be necessary if it were not for the corruption that sin produced. The monetary system, with all the buying and selling, would not be necessary in a sinless world that did unto others as they would have others do unto them. And many other things that we consider institutions in our society were never intended by God, but simply are ways of trying to cope with and control the perversion that entered the world through sin.

But one thing that God established while man was still in a sinless condition and said that it was not good for man to do without was marriage. Genesis 2:18 says, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet [or sufficient] for him.” A perfect man who had none of the pressures or problems that we know of today still was not complete without a mate. And it was not Adam who approached God about the situation and asked for a companion. Adam didn’t know what he was missing! It was God who initiated the whole thing because that was His perfect plan. This all emphasizes the high priority that marriage should have in our lives. However, it has not usually held that position.

Even we Christians today have put very little effort into our marriages, and therefore, we have gotten very little out of them. We have had our vision of what a blessing God intended marriage to be, dulled by the sorry examples of marriage we see around us today. Second Corinthians 10:12 says, “But they measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise.” This is what has happened over the years. Most couples have no idea of what God intended marriage to be, so they settle for the same substandard relations that they see others experiencing. They think conflict is just a part of marriage; and a couple that simply coexists without outward battles is considered to be an ideal couple, although that couple may have a cold war raging. After all, everybody is having trouble with their marriages today.

Well, I am pleased to announce that not everybody is having trouble with their marriages today! The Lord is moving mightily in this area, and regardless of what the rest of the world experiences, Christians can have God’s best in their homes. God instituted marriage, so He certainly knows how to make it work properly. The only reason two out of three marriages in America end up in divorce is because the people involved don’t follow the instructions God gave concerning marriage. It is that simple. The solution is not easy, but it is that simple.

What does God say about marriage? From Ephesians 5:22-33, we get quite a bit of instruction. This article doesn’t allow us enough space to deal with everything these scriptures minister concerning marriage, but certainly one principle that is interwoven throughout them all is love: God’s kind of love. It is important that you realize that God’s institution of marriage will only work with God’s kind of love.

In counseling hundreds of couples, I have found that many Christians, even those baptized with the Holy Ghost, are still operating toward each other with the same carnal love they had before they were Christians. In many cases, they have started trying to apply God’s love to their brothers and sisters in the body and have developed a “burden for the lost,” but are virtually the same in their relationships with their mates. God’s kind of love has to be applied to our marriages too.

One of the most striking differences to me between the world’s love and God’s kind of love is that you can teach yourself to operate in God’s love. Titus 2:4 says that the older women are to teach the younger women “to love their husbands, to love their children.” Carnal love is completely motivated by the emotions or senses, but God’s love comes from the heart, and although the feelings are definitely affected, they don’t motivate or deter God’s love.

Carnal love is characterized by a naked, little, fat boy who goes around shooting people with arrows to cause them to “fall” in love or to “fall” out of love. That simply is not true love. God’s love is the same yesterday, today, and forever. That is the way God is (Heb. 13:8) and God is love (1 John 4:8). People who love one minute and then their mood changes and they act the opposite way the next minute, simply don’t operate in God’s love. You may feel like reacting in anger, but you can choose to operate in love.

Many people are confused about this and think, I can’t act like I love them when I don’t feel it. Oh, yes you can! God’s Word tells us to even love our enemies (Matt. 5:44). It is a command. He didn’t say to do it if you felt like it. If you will choose to do what God tells you to, your feelings will follow. You can teach yourself to love with God’s kind of love.

A person who is truly born again desires to do what God says but doesn’t always feel like it. Our feelings have been corrupted by our old lives before we came to Christ. Now that we are in Christ, we have His promise that our spirits have been totally changed (2 Cor. 5:17) and have become like Him. Galatians 5:22 says that love is a part of the fruit of the Spirit. This is specifically speaking of the Holy Spirit; but our new man was born of the Spirit, so it has to be true that God’s love has been shed abroad in our spirits too. We do have God’s love in our new man. Our feelings are not automatically changed, however. Our feelings will continue to act like they were taught to act until we subdue them and bring them under the control of our spirit man. It is not hypocritical to act in love when you don’t feel it. It is actually hypocritical to act on what you feel instead of who you really are in Christ Jesus.

God’s kind of love is a choice that you make on the basis of what God said, and then act on it in faith until it becomes a reality in your spirit, soul, and body.

If you can receive this basic truth about God’s love, then you can begin to be consistent in your love to your mate because your love is based on a choice that you have made, not on the way they act. This is the root cause of nearly all strife in marriage. Everything is fine until one partner does something wrong to the other, and then the feathers fly. Aren’t you glad that God doesn’t treat us that way? Romans 5:8 says, “God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” Praise God! God’s love wasn’t based upon what we had done for Him or what we deserved but upon His choice to love us. That is all! We didn’t do anything to merit God’s love. He just chose to give it. We can choose to receive that kind of love and then give it to others in the same way.

Another way to say this is that God’s love is unconditional. Jesus didn’t wait until we were worth it or had repented before He gave Himself for our sins. He gave Himself for us while we were yet sinners and living a life of rebellion against Him (Rom. 5:8). His love was extended toward Hitler just as much as it was toward us. The difference is our acceptance or rejection of it not His offer of love. God’s love is unconditional.

We have to put this unconditional love of God to work in our marriages. If you live with a person for any length of time at all, you are going to find fault with them. If your love isn’t unconditional, then you will begin to give them what they deserve, which is trouble. And you can rest assured that when you make a mistake, you will reap what you have sown.

I used to work in a dark room in a photography studio. We had a joke about these ladies who would come in to see their proofs and just throw a fit about how bad their pictures looked. They would say, “This picture doesn’t do me justice!” Our answer would be, “Lady, you don’t need justice, you need mercy.” That’s the way it is in marriage. Our mates, who see us at our worst, have to give us mercy, not justice. Failure in this area is the root of most marriage problems. Many couples actually use their conditional love as a weapon to try and motivate their mates to do things. That will destroy a marriage. If the thing that keeps your mate in line is a fear of your exploding if they mess up, then you are tormenting them. That’s what 1 John 4:18 says, “Fear hath torment.” You may see some results through that method, but it’s a fact that you are building resentment and rejection in them, and sooner or later, it will explode. God’s love is unconditional.

By ANDREW WOMMACK 

MAN BUILDS ' NOAH ARK ' TO PROVE BIBLE WAS RIGHT

Man builds ‘Noah’s ark’ to prove Bible was right

A man has built a £77million replica of Noah’s ark to prove that the story actually happened.

Back in 2010 Ken Ham, who believes everything in the Bible should be taken literally, announced that his organisation Answers in Genesis would construct the 510-foot-long ship in Kentucky.

Since then, scientists have been arguing that it would be detrimental to children’s education – taking particular umbrage with the fact that it was granted state tax incentives.

However, it was opened to great fanfare on Tuesday – with a high school marching band performing before a ribbon cutting.

‘I believe this is going to be one of the greatest Christian outreaches of this era in history,’ Ham, president of Answers in Genesis, said.

The attraction, called Ark Encounter, is based on the Old Testament tale about Noah, a man who got a warning from God that a flood would destroy the world.

Ham says the ark will now stand as proof that stories in the Bible are true.

Source Mirror UK

WHAT YOU CAN DO TO PLUNDER THE ENEMY'S GATE

Satan has no good plans, and he launches no gentle attacks! He is an invading force that desires to steal the blessings of God in your life.

It takes relentless faith to counteract his schemes and plunder his gates. We are not called to be passive participants in the kingdom. We are called to be aggressive pursuers of the promises of God. We must be unafraid not only to confront the enemy but also to break his power.

Bishop George Bloomer, founding pastor of Bethel Family Worship Center in Durham, North Carolina, writes in his book Spiritual Warfare: "Because we often do not realize the degree of Satan's cunning ingenuity, we are frequently unprepared for the battle we are called to fight against him and his dark forces. Consequently, we end up living defeated lives, thereby not fulfilling the ministry to which God has called us."

Each believer must come to the realization that he is called to be an effective citizen of the kingdom. Every Christian has a purpose. Each of us has a ministry. The problem is that many people do not understand that ministry is all around us. Being a godly father is a ministry. Being a successful mother is a ministry. Being an intercessor is a ministry. Building a thriving business that employs people in the community, funds the gospel, and is led by integrity is a ministry. Working in media to develop quality art and convey a sound message is a ministry.

It is easy to look at those standing on a large stage, sharing the Word of God, as ministers. I certainly honor and appreciate all those who give their lives to preaching and teaching the Word. I believe wholeheartedly in the five ministry gifts and callings (Eph. 4:11–12), but I also know that each believer is commissioned by God to do something of significance in the earth.

Significance cannot and must not be measured by the size of its reach or the accolades of men. Rewards are measured not by the size of your gift or volume of your impact but by the stewardship of your talents. Jesus' parable of the talents (Matt. 25:14–30) shows us that it was the servants' stewardship of what had been entrusted to them that was either commended or rebuked. Their rewards had nothing to do with how great their gifts were.

Spiritual attacks come to knock each believer out of his assigned place. The wicked one and his despicable minions work in concerted effort to bind, hinder and confuse our sense of purpose. If we do not wake up and properly recognize what is happening, then their plans will prosper and we will miss our reward. We cannot afford to allow that.

A Personal Attack Broken

Once I made a decision that seemed wise but would later turn out to be disastrous. Some new friends had come into my life, and I decided to share a business idea that I had with them. After a series of events we found ourselves in business together in what seemed like a great endeavor. This was such a great opportunity. I was looking for ways to create streams of income in order to be equipped for the ministry. Our fledgling enterprise began to take off, and in no time at all it was rapidly growing. I was so excited!

There was just one problem; I was working with people who began to manifest bad character traits. I had to make some tough decisions. I could either violate my own convictions and breach integrity, or I would deeply offend those with whom I was working. I could not imagine going against my gut in this situation and abandoning the road of character. I had given up so much to step out in faith into the ministry, leaving many comforts behind. Why would I put all that on the line to make somebody else happy? I took a bold stand and was met with fierce resistance.

The process of building a new business turned from joy to sorrow very quickly. There were extreme manifestations of anger and accusation. During several confrontations I was concerned that things were escalating far beyond the boundaries of a normal disagreement. Throughout this conflict it was as though a heavy cloud of grieving and disappointment was hanging over my life. The lingering dispute went beyond just a typical misunderstanding. I found myself questioning all of the decisions that I had made in realigning my life with the purposes of God.

I had relocated as a result of an encounter I had with the voice of the Lord. Had I missed it? Did I not clearly hear from God? Were there really righteous people living in the kingdom, or was everyone living a double standard like these people? Were my prayers effective, and was there a way out? Should I just give up and retreat? These were all weighty questions blazing across my mind. The worst part was that I seemed overwhelmed and foggy. I desperately needed direction, and I needed it fast. I could not go on in this confused and weary state. My joy seemed diminished and my hope depleted.

On Wednesday evening I attended service after work. I had been in a toxic atmosphere all day filled with conflict and uncertainty, not knowing what to do. I have always functioned at my best when I have a clear word and direction from the Lord, but in the midst of this attack those things seemed to be fleeting. As I arrived at the evening meeting, my heart was heavy and my mind overwhelmed. They announced that they were going to do Communion. I love to receive the Lord's Supper, but on this particular occasion I desperately needed a breakthrough. I needed someone to pray over me. I was so hungry to hear from God. It seemed to me that probably that would not happen during a Communion service.

The atmosphere is usually focused on receiving the Lord's Supper and not on personal ministry. When it came time, the leaders asked people to line up and come to a table in the front to receive the elements. Two ministers were serving the Communion in the midst of a strong spirit of worship. I walked through the line, and suddenly one of the ministers began to pray at the Communion table and release a prophetic word over me about the attack that I had been under! The power of God hit me, and I began to weep from deep within. In a moment the weight of the attack was being confronted by the power of God. That day the evil plan of the enemy was broken at the Communion table.

In the days after that prayer the Lord dramatically delivered me from the situation and reversed the attack. There was supernatural restoration on every front, and I was propelled forth in the assignment that God had for me. I learned so many valuable lessons during this time of trial that have continued to help me in the years since.

The preceding is excerpted from Overcoming Spiritual Attack by Ryan LeStrange, published by Charisma House, 2016. Copyright © 2016 by Ryan LeStrange.

Ryan LeStrange started in ministry after training and serving under his spiritual father, Dr. Norvel Hayes. Ryan and his wife, Joy, lead Impact International Ministries based in Bristol, Virginia, which consists of several local churches and revival ministries. Through Ryan LeStrange Ministries, he travels the globe preaching, igniting revival and moving in the power of God. Ryan can be seen weekly on his television program, Power 4 Today, airing around the world on GodTV. He is the founder and apostle of Impact International Apostolic Fellowship, networking and fathering ministers around the world. Ryan has written several books releasing an apostolic and prophetic perspective to the body of Christ.

7 TYPES OF CHRISTIAN GOD CAN'T USE

About 17 years ago I prayed a very dangerous prayer while lying on the floor of my church near Orlando. I repeated these words from Isaiah 6:8 (MEV): "Here am I. Send me." Then I cringed. I knew God would mess me up good in order to use me to touch others for Christ.

I wanted God to use me, but I was painfully aware that we don't just go out and start a ministry on our own terms. God bends and breaks those who speak for Him. He requires full surrender. I had to let go of fears, adjust attitudes and change priorities.

It has become popular today to suggest that God can use anybody. It's true that He does not show favoritism based on race, age, gender, marital history, past failures or income status. Yet His standards have never been lowered; He only uses humble, obedient, consecrated followers.

Many Christians will never be useful in the kingdom because of mindsets or behaviors that limit the flow of the Holy Spirit or, as the apostle Paul said in Galatians 2:21 (KJV), "frustrate the grace of God." I don't ever want to frustrate His grace! If you want God to use you, make sure you don't fall into any of these categories:

1. Driver's seat Christians. Jesus is not just our Savior; He is our Lord, and He wants to guide our decisions, direct our steps and overrule our selfish choices. There are many believers who enjoy the benefits of salvation yet they never yield control to God. If you want Him to use you, then you must slide over into the passenger seat and let Jesus drive. If you have a problem with willfulness, learn to pray: "Not my will, but Yours be done" (Luke 22:42, MEV).

2. Armchair critics. There are some people who roll up their sleeves and serve the Lord; there are others who make it their business to analyze and pick apart everyone who is doing God's work. The devil is the Accuser, so if you are accusing others you are operating in the spirit of Lucifer. The Holy Spirit does not work through people who are bitter, angry or judgmental.

3. Glass-half-empty pessimists. Many Christians today are worried about what sinners are doing, and some spend hours trying to predict when the Antichrist will arise or when the world will end. Meanwhile there are other Christians who focus on winning lost people to Jesus and showing His compassion to a broken world. Who do you think will bear more spiritual fruit—the doomsday pessimist or the hopeful evangelist?

4. Carnally-minded Christians. It has become fashionable today for believers to lower the standard of moral behavior to the point that anything goes. Unmarried Christians are living together, some pastors are experimenting with adultery and some denominations have voted to sanction homosexual relationships. Don't be fooled. Just because more and more people are jumping on this trendy bandwagon does not mean God has rewritten His eternal Word.

People who live in blatant sin cannot be instruments of the Holy Spirit. 2 Timothy 2:21 says clearly: "One who cleanses himself from these things will be a vessel for honor, sanctified, fit for the Master's use, and prepared for every good work." Our usefulness to God is based on whether we have submitted to the process of sanctification. Holiness is not an option.

5. Church dropouts. I won't win a popularity contest by saying this, but it's true: God does not use people who have turned away from the church. Today it is fashionable to bash the church; some people have even established "ministries" to lure Christians away from church and into an isolated spiritual wilderness. Most of these church-bashers are bitter because they had a bad experience with a pastor.

I have only compassion for any victim of spiritual abuse. But no one has the right to tear down the work of God just because a spiritual leader hurt him. The church is God's Plan A, and He does not have an alternative. If we are going to be used by God, we must get connected to the church and learn to flow with its God-ordained leadership.

6. Timid cowards. When Paul sent Timothy to Ephesus to pioneer the church there, he exhorted him to break free from fear. He wrote: "Do not be ashamed of the testimony of our Lord" (2 Tim. 1:8). Fear has the power to paralyze. All those who surrender to the call of God must bravely open their mouths, defend the faith, risk their reputation and suffer rejection—and possible persecution. If you are afraid to share the gospel, repent of your fear and ask God for holy boldness.

7. Lazy spectators. Many Christians today think following God means clocking in for a 90-minute service before driving to the lake. We read quick devotions on our smart phones and breathe short prayers during our morning commutes. But somewhere in all this 21st century stress we lost the meaning of discipleship.

If you want God to use you, you must take His call seriously and become a focused student of His Word and a passionate prayer warrior. The apostles of the first century declared: " But we will give ourselves continually to prayer and to the ministry of the word" (Acts 6:4). Halfhearted people never changed the world. You must be devoted, committed and passionate if you want to make maximum spiritual impact.

J. Lee Grady is the former editor of Charisma. You can follow him on Twitter at leegrady. He is the author of several books including 10 Lies the Church Tells Women, 10 Lies Men Believe, Fearless Daughters of the Bible and The Holy Spirit Is Not for Sale. You can learn more about his ministry, The Mordecai Project, atthemordecaiproject.org.

JOYCE MEYER REVEALS THE GREATEST LIFE LESSON SHE'S EVER LEARNED

If you've heard my testimony, you know I experienced abuse from my father throughout my childhood—mental, emotional and sexual abuse. Then, for years after I left that situation, I continued to live with a constant sense of guilt and condemnation that caused me to be a miserable person who was usually angry about something and very difficult to get along with.

But eventually, God helped me to overcome the hurts and wounds from the past and He miraculously restored my soul. It's been a long journey getting to where I am today and it hasn't been easy, but I can honestly say it's been worth it. God has done such an amazing work in my life that I don't know how to tell it all!

One Scripture verse that has been truly life-changing for me over the years in my journey to wholeness is Psalm 27:4. It says: "One thing have I asked of the Lord, that will I seek, inquire for, and [insistently] require: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord [in His presence] all the days of my life" (AMPC).

The foremost thing we need to learn is to keep God first in our lives. Psalm 27:4 is talking about seeking God, and not just the blessings He can give us. Now, there is nothing wrong with asking Him for the things you want and need, but they should not be your focus.

God loves us and wants to show His love to us. But He wants to have a personal relationship with us that goes deeper than us just coming to Him when we need something or have an emergency.

I remember when God spoke to my heart that if I would seek Him as if I was desperate all the time, I wouldn't find myself in desperate circumstances as often. The truth is, we really are desperate for God all the time, whether we realize it or not.

I've discovered that when you have God Himself, you have everything you will ever need! It's all about learning to seek God's face—who He is, His presence—and not just His hand, or what He can do for you.

So ... what are you seeking?

The word seek means you crave, pursue or go after something with all of your might; you require something as a vital necessity in your life. The question is, what are you seeking? What do you believe is really vital to you? In other words, what do you think you absolutely have to have in life?

Most of us start our relationship with God when our lives are in a mess, and we come to Him because we recognize that He is the only one who can help us get out of it. When I got serious about my relationship with God and started studying His Word, I had so many issues—my life was a mess! And at times, I wondered if I would ever be able to work through them all.

I know what it's like to hurt so badly you don't think you can go on unless something changes. Sometimes all we feel we can pray is, "God, if I don't get a breakthrough in this area of my life, I don't think I will make it!" But what we really need to pray is, "God, if I can't have more of You, I don't think I can go on. I'm hungry for more of You, and no matter what my circumstance is, I just need more of You!"

Evaluate what you're really seeking.

If you want to determine honestly if God is first in your life, then ask yourself this question: "Is God first in my time?"

Think about the way you spend your time. If all of the things you want to do crowd Him out, then He's not your first priority.

I remember years ago when I was so frustrated and felt overwhelmed by everything I "had" to do. As I prayed for God to help me, I realized that I was trying to work Him into my schedule, rather than working my schedule around Him. But once my time with Him became my first priority, then everything else became more manageable and enjoyable.

You know, we can be as close to God as we want to be. The key is putting time into our relationship with Him. I recommend that you spend time with God first thing in the morning, but if that doesn't work for you, at least take a few minutes to focus on Him and give Him your day before you get caught up in the busyness of everyday life.

Matthew 6:33 says, "Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need" (NLT). God wants to show His love for you by meeting your needs and giving you the desires of your heart that line up with His will for you.

As you make the transition from "God, what can You do for me?" to "God, how can I know You more and what can I do for You?" you'll discover greater peace, joy and fulfillment in knowing Him. And you'll move forward in the life He has planned for you! 

Joyce Meyer is a New York Times best-selling author and founder of Joyce Meyer Ministries, Inc. She has authored 100 books, including Battlefield of the Mind and Get Your Hopes Up! (Hachette). She hosts the Enjoying Everyday Life radio and TV programs, which air on hundreds of stations worldwide. For more information, visitwww.joycemeyer.org.

TOUCHING!MUM NARRATES HOW SHE MIRACULOUSLY ESCAPE CONTRACTING HIV FROM HUBBY

This touching story was shared by a woman on social media, explaining that although she had sex with her husband who was HIV positive, and even had a child with him but she didn’t contract the disease,Information Nigeria reports.

Read the story below…

”Before my husband and I started dating, we had been good friends for about 2 years.

Then we started seeing each other and one thing led to another and we started having sex. It was great and we were really in love with each other. Then he proposed to me, and of course, I said yes. This was in 2008. We got married that year.

My church requests would-be-couples to do medical screening and pregnancy test before you can be married. We did this and everything was fine, or so I thought. And behold two months after marriage, hubby became very sick and had to be admitted for about 2 months. Diagnosis showed HIV positive. My whole world fell apart, I did my own testing but came out negative.

I went alone to the doctor to ask my troubling questions, and tell him that we did the test together about 4 months back and we were negative, the doctor said either he just got infected or it was a false negative (maybe he was in his window period at the time). It was heartbreaking. We kept all this from family because believe me, the stigmatization of HIV is real.

And I was really shocked that he could be HIV positive and I was not even though we had had sex many times.

My husband, on the other hand, didn’t believe it one bit, he said he is not HIV positive that something is wrong, that he is sure of himself. My husband is a very knowledgeable person and well read. We talked about it for many days and at the end of the day, a part of me believed that indeed maybe it is spiritual. Why am I then negative? Why 2 months after our successful wedding? Maybe it is just a temptation. What do I do now? Who do I talk to that will not laugh at me. Only God. I put everything in the hands of God and started praying harder than before.

He became well and resumed work to the glory of God. He kept saying he didn’t cheat on me and he didn’t have HIV. I even begged him to tell me the truth, that I will stand with him no matter what. I was so hurt that I told myself I will never have sex with him again. He respected it, he respects me so much. He was a good man.

Then one day I was so horny, I couldn’t bear it anymore, I went to buy a pack of condoms after talking to my doctor. We started making love with condoms. But there were few times, the body no be firewood, before I could pick a condom from the bedside drawer, we would make love without it. This was our marriage for 3 years.

Hmmm, then in 2011, hubby became sick again. He was adamant to go to the hospital, he said he was tired of doctors telling him he has HIV when he knows he didn’t. I talked and talked. Hubby’s family thought I was a bad woman and I wasn’t taking good care of him. He went from cough to rashes, to pneumonia and eventually to death.

I thought the pressure of running around prevented my period from showing for up to 4 months. I didn’t know I was pregnant. The last time we made love before he got sick was when I conceived. Hubby died when I was 6 months pregnant. He knew he was going to be a father.

All my ante-natal screening was negative to HIV. I had our son vaginally 3 months after he died, a healthy baby in 2011 (4years now). I am telling this story to those women who think HIV (or any STD) is for some people or status, to marry God fearing men who would not jeopardize your future for few seconds of pleasure.

I have been there and have experienced it first hand. By Gods grace, I am working and can provide basic needs for my son and I. 4 years gone by, and it is still hard to trust another man. Like my doctor said, I was one of the lucky ones, I came out unscathed.

Do not cheat or condone cheating. Staying with a cheat is like been in the war front, it’s only a matter of time. You deserve better.

We all deserve better.

God bless you.”

HOW MUM WHO SUFFERED 15 MISCARRIAGS BEAT THE ODD AND STILL HAVE FAMILY

Laura Dove, a 36-year-old mother from Lancashire, England, now has four children after having a stillbirth and 15 miscarriages, Daily Mail reports.

The mother of four, according to sources, never had any difficulty conceiving but she repeatedly lost her babies between six and 12 weeks into pregnancy. She had three miscarriages before giving birth to her first son, Lewis, in 2004.

“When I first miscarried, I couldn’t tell anything felt different … It was heartbreaking to lose the babies, but we were still quite optimistic at that point. We were so young, we just thought we’d try again,” she said.

However, the mum’s optimism was crushed when she suffered another miscarriage, this time, with little Joseph.

She affirmed, “When I’m pregnant I don’t get a big bump, so with Joseph I had growth scans every two weeks. They said he was slightly small so I was monitored a lot.”

But she lost little Joseph too when she was 36 weeks into her pregnancy.

She recalled, “We were both completely numb and went into autopilot. I naively thought they would do a Cesarean, but I was told I would be induced … I didn’t think I would be put through all that. But they had to think about what was safest for me.”

Little Joseph’s death left the parents grief stricken, and it eventually led to the end of their marriage.

“After losing Joseph, I didn’t want to try for any more kids at first. But in the end we decided that we would. We lost a few more babies and I felt like it was breaking us. It was so much pressure and we were both grieving. I was really depressed and had psychiatric treatment. After we lost the last one, we split up,” she explained.

Dove finally had two daughters and a son in quick succession for her second husband, 34-year-old Gareth, after years of miscarriages and struggling with depression.

Photo credit: Dan Rowlands/Mercury Press

5 THINGS NO ONE TELLS YOU BEFORE YOU GET MARRIED

Now that my husband and I have been together for over a decade, we look back at our time of preparing for marriage and realize that there is so much about the day-to-day aspects of marriage that no one really told us about.

From the practicalities of sharing a house to the practices of conflict management—a lot tends to be left unsaid.

I’m thankful for the older and wiser mentors who helped us in our transition to marriage, and told us the truth we may have otherwise never heard.

Now, as a professional counselor specializing in marriage and relationships, I often work with couples who are struggling in their marriages. While I certainly believe that much of conflict in relationships stems from issues of the heart, often I do see that couples are struggling in marriage simply because of a lack of preparation.

So, Here are five things we’ve learned—but no one ever told us—about marriage:

1. Conflict is a healthy part of marriage.

I have to admit, I sort of prided myself in the fact that our pre-marriage experience didn’t consist of much conflict. But as I look back, I’ve realized that conflict isn’t the enemy. But it’s how you manage your conflict that can make or break marriage.

Binding two different people into one, marriage forces you to get to the heart of your opinions, needs, feelings and desires, and learn to share those things in a meaningful and healthy way. It requires you to look at your differences, and learn to work through those things with as much selflessness and sacrifice as you can muster.

There is no getting around conflict, but there is always the choice to get through it, and then come out even stronger on the other side.

2. Your sex life is a small fraction of your married life.

Let’s just put it out there: Sex is awesome—once you figure out how to do it right. (P.S., Don’t expect to master it on the honeymoon!)

It’s the super glue of a marriage relationship that offers you an intimate experience with your spouse shared with no other person. It’s a God-given gift that points to the creativity of and majesty of our Creator.

But the truth is, sex is such a small fraction of how you actually spend time in marriage.

More than anything else, it’s the day-in-day-out routine of life that takes up most of your time in marriage. From the laundry to cooking to chores and errands, you find that your time with your spouse is spent doing thousands of insignificant things—but with the opportunity to do them in really significant ways. As important as it is to serve each other sexually, it’s just as important to serve and love each other through the monotonous routine of life.

To give your time, your energy and your willingness to meet the other person’s needs: That’s what a truly loving marriage is all about.

3. You’ll have to relearn how to share.

We all think of the deep spiritual and physical benefits of oneness, but do we ever consider things like one house, one bed, one bathroom, one mirror above the bathroom sink, one bank account, one budget?

In marriage, you relearn the preschool lesson of “sharing.” But you learn it in a very non-preschool kind of way. You learn to let go of the mine-and-yours mentality, because in marriage, everything is truly ours.

There’s something really hard about that truth, but also really beautiful, because it offers an opportunity for selflessness.

4. At some point, you’ll want to give up.

Even in the most nourished marriages, we all come to a point where we’ve reached the end of ourselves. It’s that time where we’ve given everything we can and feel like we’ve got nothing left to give.

In marriage, there will be a day when you want to give up. To give up on trying, on forgiving, on healing, on growing or on loving. But it is in those very moments that God wants to intervene, to prove Himself faithful and to remind you that true love always comes in the form of a choice.

Those moments in marriage have been the most life-changing for me, because it’s in those moments that I’ve learned that the end of myself is exactly the place I need to be.

It is in those moments that I have watched God’s mercy pour into my life, so that His grace could flow out of my life. And His grace is always just what I need- and it’s always enough.

5. Getting married isn’t your final destination.

It’s easy for us as Christians to become consumed with the goal of finding a spouse and getting married because we all recognize what a special gift marriage can be.

But as I’ve had the privilege of experiencing marriage, I’ve realized that this relationship is just part of the bigger picture God has for my life.

I write about this in my book, True Love Dates, because grasping this truth was such an important part of my expectations and understanding marital love: “When we see marriage as our sole purpose in life, we find ourselves with nowhere to go when we finally arrive. Marriage may be an avenue of fulfilling our purpose, but it’s not the final destination” (p 136).

Marriage is a great thing, but it’s only a temporary part of our God-given story.

His purpose for each of our lives is never-ending, starting from the moment we are conceived and all the way into eternity. It’s a purpose and a calling that is filled with meaning, because it’s about sharing His love with the world around us (Matthew 22:36-40). It’s a love that reaches into our marriages, but goes above and beyond our relationship status, to everyone he’s placed in our lives.

Getting married may be part of our journey, but it can never be the final destination.

Just like anything in life, having more knowledge creates the environment for a better experience. Marriage is certainly a lifelong process of learning along the way.

PUTIN'S RUSSIA WANTS TO STOP CHRISTIANS FROM SHARING THEIR FAITH

Russian president Vladimir Putin recently approved a series of amendments to several surveillance and anti-terrorism laws—including one that bans people from evangelizing outside of a church. This amendment would even ban Russians from inviting friends to church over email or telephone, and discussing faith anywhere that isn't the confines of a recognized church building.

It's pretty shocking.

The specific law that's being amended is, "On freedom of conscience and on religious associations.”

The new law would require foreign missionaries to have a work permit from Russian authorities in order to speak at a church. Sharing your faith with someone who isn't a believer would be considered missionary work and is punishable by law, according to Christian Post. The laws become enforceable for children as young as 14 and anyone who witnesses a person doing any of these things would be responsible for reporting their activity.

The introduction to the laws was met with widespread protests, as well as fasting and praying .

Hannu Hauka, president of Great Commission Media Ministries, told National Religious Broadcasters, that the new laws are close to what the Soviet Union enforced in the 1920s.

"This new situation resembles the Soviet Union in 1929. At that time confession of faith was permitted only in church," he said. "Practically speaking, we are back in the same situation. These anti-terrorist laws are some of the most restrictive laws in post-Soviet history."

The United States Commission on International Religious Freedom's chair, Thomas J. Reese released a press release condemning the amendment.

“These deeply flawed anti-terrorism measures will buttress the Russian government’s war against human rights and religious freedom. They will make it easier for Russian authorities to repress religious communities, stifle peaceful dissent, and detain and imprison people. Neither these measures nor the currently existing anti-extremism law meet international human rights and religious freedom standards.”

BRITISH- NIGERIA ACTOR, DAVID OYELOWO LAUNCHES SCHOLARSHIP TO EDUCATE VICTIMIZED NIGERIA GIRLS WITH HELP FROM OPRAH AND OTHERS

British-Nigerian actor David Oyelowo encouraged the creation of a scholarship to aid girls who have been terrorized and disadvantaged by gender inequality in Nigeria.

The GEANCO Foundation has announced the first ever David Oyelowo Leadership Scholarship for Girls to help victimized young girls get an education. Many Nigerian girls are raped, kidnapped and if they make it back home, shunned by their families.

“We cannot stand idly by while thousands of innocent girls remain under serious threat,” Oyelowo in a press release. “With our help, these bright and resilient girls can blossom into Nigeria’s most inspiring leaders in government, education, business, entertainment, and so much more. The way to combat oppression and injustice is to be intentional in calling it out and then seeking to affect sustainable and long-term change. That is what these Leadership scholarships are all about. We seek to nurture a generation of strong female trailblazers whose positive impact will be felt across Nigeria and around the world.”

The 40-year-old award-winning actor and producer has long supported GEANCO. He was honored for his commitment to providing Nigerian youth with educational opportunities in 2015.

His commitment extends further with the Leadership scholarship. It will have initial financial support from famous sources. They include Oyelowo’s wife Jessica, Oprah Winfrey and pro football Hall of Fame quarterback Warren Moon. Capital group Janus Funds and entertainment company Participant Media will also fund the grant. Additionally, the actor will actively participate in providing funding, administration and promotion for the grant.

Three leadership scholarships will be provided for the 2016-2017 school year. Offers for subsequent years will be determined by the amount available and total funding received. Anglican Girls Grammar School in Abuja, Nigeria will educate this year’s recipients. The all-girls boarding school emphasizes science and math in its courses. It also provides a safe, nurturing environment for students. Other renowned schools will be chosen for future scholarship recipients.

The scholarship will have initial financial support Oyelowo’s wife Jessica, Oprah Winfrey and pro football Hall of Fame quarterback Warren Moon. Capital group Janus Funds and entertainment company Participant Media will also fund the grant. Additionally, the actor will actively participate in providing funding, administration and promotion for the grants.

THE DISTRACTION CALLED DATING

In our world today, young people are so crazed with the word dating. It has become so popular today, to the point it seems if you are not dating then something is wrong with you.

Every time I am asked the question who are you dating, and I say I don’t date, I usually receive this blank look that says it all. You don’t date? So what do you do?

I make friends, I build healthy relationships, I keep platonic friends, good friends who have similar focus as mine in life or at least are purposeful and goal oriented.

On one of those occasions the person asked me, do you think you will ever get married? I smiled and asked him back, what has dating got to do with marriage in the real sense of it? Then he said if you don’t date how will you ever get married?

I told him well I am sorry my brother but I think this is the greatest form of delusion ever. And so many people are living in this delusion. As long as I know and as long as I am concerned, dating is a distraction and a complete waste of time. It has got nothing to do with getting married staying married or being single.
In fact the whole “dating nonsense” has kept or left more people single than you can ever imagine. I have never dated anyone in my life in the real sense of it, but I cannot count the number of marriage proposals I have received in my life, starting even before I turned sixteen (thank God for the gift of a good parents). That I am single is not a reason of lack of marriage proposals, but rather my own decision. I believe before anyone goes into marriage they have to be ready and prepared for it. Also to be sure that you are going into it with the right person and you are also the right person for the other person involved and getting married at the right time, when you are psychological  matured and ready for it. Not necessary when the society wants you to marry but when you want to.

The funny thing is, most of these people coming to seek my hand in marriage had people they are dating or have been dating for 2,3,4,5 years etc. yet they have not proposed to them. According to them, the reasons being that they are not convinced about the person yet. They are still trying to find out if she/he is the right person for them. Meanwhile just meeting me and being friends from as earlier as one to three months they are proposing and begging to do anything for you, just for you to accept them as your husband.

My question now is who is deceiving who?

Mind you, all I needed to say to this people was a yes and they were ready to commence with the marriage rites accordingly. (Well marriage rites are a big deal for we Africans, Nigerians to be precise laughs… I love being African, rich marriage culture, I’m proudly Nigerian). When I looked at all this things happening around me I discover how much a waste of time dating is. Yes dating indeed is a distraction.

WHAT EXACTLY IS DATING?

According to Wikipedia, The most common idea is two people trying out a relationship and exploring whether they are compatible by going out together in public as a couple who may or may not yet be having sexual relations. This period of courtship is sometimes seen as a precursor to engagement or marriage.

Different people might have different definitions of what dating is to them. For me dating is a complete distraction, a waste of time and a license to engage in premature/ premarital romance and sex.

Why do I give this definition to dating?

If you take a complete analysis of dating and friendship, there is actually nothing you get from dating that you can’t get from friendship. Except the fact that dating creates that room where it seems to be ok to do a little bit of touching, it doesn’t hurt, caressing, it still doesn’t hurt, kissing and finally sex.

In most of this instances the people involved in this whole process of dating do not really get to know their selves that well, because they are preoccupied with how to make there dating time interesting and fun. Planning of activities, where to go, what movie to watch etc. and the only time they get alone, romance follows and the date is over.

I had this friend of mine, who has been dating a lady for about two years now, the lady now happens to be my friend too through him. So I am friends with the both of them. I got so interested in the way their whole dating process was going and how long it has taken and I am not seeing any progress.

So I asked the guy involved what exactly is going on? Why have you not yet proposed to this girl, when are you two getting married? Well I can be very nosy sometimes I agree; I don’t know how to keep quiet when I see something going wrong around me, especially with my friends.

To my amazement his response was, we are still trying to know ourselves. I was shocked! Are you kidding me, you guys have been dating for two years and you are yet to know yourselves? Well that’s the truth was his response. You know me better than she does, there are so many things you know about me that she does not know about me. So what exactly have you guys been doing all this years of dating was my question. I decided to ask the girl in question, and she said I love him but I am not really sure if he is the one, besides he has not proposed so we are still getting to know ourselves better.

While did I decide to bring this story here, I just want to establish the fact that in most cases those who engage in dating hardly “get to know themselves” as they say is the purpose of the dating. It only builds so much tension for the two people involve, sexual and perfection tension etc. they are trying so hard to make their dates effective, fun and standard, that they forget what was the purpose of the dating in the first place.

In the atmosphere of good friendship, you are free to talk about anything, being yourself, not trying to impress anyone. You have more time to talk to yourselves about yourselves and other areas of interest in live. You are not preoccupied with what kind of outing you should go for, what should be your location etc. it just comes natural, this person is your friend.

So you have more time to get to know this person with no or less sexual tension. You are free around them and at home when they are around. You don’t have to get fixed before you meet with your friend but with your date you have to be fixed. So friendship to me is natural, dating is staged.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t have anything against those who choose to date, is just a matter of understanding, choice and personality differences. The idea I don’t like, is making dating look compulsory as if is something that must be done, in other to get married or have a successful marriage.

Talking from the Christian point of view, the Bible does not teach dating and is totally silence about it. I’m I in anyway saying dating in itself is a sin?  No not at all.  All I am saying is, dating is really not a necessity in the real sense of it, and should not be made a standard for young people. Especially for those who wants to stay sexually pure or practice abstinence till marriage.

Don’t let anyone pressurize you into getting on any dating. Build good friends and marry your friend. Nothing is more important than the fact that the person you are getting married to, you know him/her to a great percentage, you know their strengths and weaknesses and you are very at home with them and ready to cover them in their areas of weaknesses. Living in the consciousness of the fact that no one is perfect, every human being born of a woman have their strength and weakness.

So save yourself from unnecessary sexual pressure by avoiding unnecessary dating!

If at all you want to date, then date your husband. That is weird isn’t it? Smiles!!!  What do I mean by this, until you are sure of a person to be your husband, until he has proposed, until you have gotten both parents blessing, until you have gotten the blessing of your pastor if you are a Christian there is absolute know need for dating ( though there might be some exceptions).

As Christians there are better ways of knowing who your husband/wife is. Thank God for the gift of the Holy Spirit and the privilege to pray (communicating with God about this very important aspect of your life is wise, it should be the first thing you do before anything else). Dating will not do that job. In fact a good friendship does a better job in knowing who your partner is than the so called dating.

I have seen those who are victims of prolonged dating that never ended in marriage. Wasting all their time in college with a particular person, restricting themselves from meeting other prospective partners and after as long as 4-5yrs in some cases ten years then one partner leaves to marry another leaving the other heart broken and single. In most cases the victims of these scenarios are majorly ladies. I know guys are victims of this too, but the percentage is lesser compared to that of ladies.

So be wise! Don’t waste your life and time on useless dating. Especially you my single ladies!! This is totally my opinion, you might not agree with me and that is ok. You can live your comments, arguments in the comments section; let me also know your opinion on this.

For me, as a matter of fact I don’t believe in dating. I cannot and I will not date anyone expect my husband. What do I mean by that, until I am ready for marriage, gotten a confirmation from God that this person is my husband, gotten my father’s and pastor’s blessing, (I mean go ahead) I won’t date him. That is exactly what I have done. Wedding bells ringing….

#DateYourHusband!!!

By Dr. Bien Sufficient

Dr. Bien Sufficient is a Medical Doctor, Pastor, Writer and a Public Speaker.
President @Kingdom Lifestyle Movement.

BEING A CHRISTIAN HAS NEVER BEEN MORE DANGEROUS

When I first signed up for overseas mission work, I hadn’t considered I was potentially putting myself at risk because of my faith.

After all, I grew up in a quiet Canadian prairie town where my classmates and I would say the Lord’s Prayer every morning before class started—at a public school. The only thing I feared as a Christian kid was whether or not I finished my homework for my confirmation class or if I’d make it home in time to catch Adventures in Odyssey on the Christian radio station after piano lessons.

It wasn’t until I was 23 and started engaging in international humanitarian work when I realized that people were being killed for something I was practically blasé towards. Once I started hearing stories of fellow missionaries or Christian nationals being taken hostage or disappearing, the reality started sinking in: Being a Christian is still dangerous—especially for nationals in developing countries.

Christian oppression

To be honest, reading about Christian oppression in the Bible had never shocked me that much. No, it wasn’t okay for Christians to be persecuted, but it was a new faith movement back then—and rarely are radical new ideas well-accepted. Plus, Jesus was threatening. He made plenty of waves: reaching out to people at the margins, condemning income disparity, preaching a gospel of social justice and otherwise challenging legalism and the status quo.

What shocks me is that 2,000 years later, Christians are still being arrested, abducted, beaten, raped, tortured and killed because of their religious identity. Just last week, several Kenyan staff members from International Justice Mission were killed in Nairobi. Last year was the deadliest year for Christians in modern history, with over 7,000 Christians being killed for their faith. Has nothing changed?

Allow me to be blunt: Jesus was never the problem. If anything, he was a solution, bearing good news for everyone—no matter how messed up they were. He presented a unique opportunity for us to have a relationship with a God who loves, accepts, forgives and offers grace. Christianity at its core isn’t the issue—but can we really accuse other major world religions for being the problem, either? Can we really ignore that almost every major religious tradition places some form of emphasis on love and kindness in community, too?

If we want to bring peace to a region, we need to address poverty, gender inequality, political stability, racism and other issues, too.

What I believe is really wrong with our world is human brokenness. Humans were broken, prejudiced and struggled with sin 2,000 years ago, and we still struggle now. Jesus may be threatening to some, but it’s also brokenness, sin and misguided beliefs that incite hatred, fuel oppressive systems, corrode community and breed violence against the “other.”

Believe it or not, there’s good news tangled in that dark reality: We may be broken, but we are not powerless. If we’ve built oppressive systems, then we have the power to change them. If we’ve constructed harmful cultural values, then we can shift them.

Small steps we can take

Those things are possible, but they take time. As we work towards building those large-scale changes from the ground up, we can also work on some smaller things in the meantime, too:

1. Practice gratitude.

Be intentional about identifying the ordinary things you do—because going to church, joining faith-based groups or talking about God publicly is something others are dying for.

Of course, being thankful for our safety doesn’t do much for the safety of those in danger. But it does invite us into solidarity with our brothers and sisters who don’t have the luxury or right to religious freedom.

2. Support missionaries and pray for Christians in persecuted areas.

Caring for our brothers and sisters in high-risk areas is a tangible way of showing our love, support and solidarity. It’s never been easier to send encouraging emails or have Skype calls with missionaries or churches in other countries. We’ve never been more aware of current conflicts in order to pray more specifically. It’s never been more convenient for us to send funds to ensure our brothers and sisters in other countries can afford secure housing and live well despite stressful and dangerous conditions.

3. Examine the deeper issues in regions with high rates of religious persecution.

We do have religious-based violence and discrimination in North America. We’re not perfect here, either. But why does this kind of conflict claim lives in resource-poor regions lacking in human rights in such a high magnitude? Why is it that countries like Somalia and Afghanistan have among the lowest GDPs in the world and the highest rates of Christian persecution?

Christianity at its core isn’t the issue—but can we really accuse other major world religions for being the problem, either?

Sending discerning missionaries or equipping nationals in developing nations to spread the word of God isn’t a bad thing. But we can’t focus only on addressing people’s spiritual well-being while ignoring other needs. Would you trust someone who only wanted you to learn about God while you’re starving and struggling to provide an income for your family, at risk of malaria or waterborne diseases, or dying in childbirth?

Christian persecution is a serious problem, but it’s not always isolated. If we want to bring peace to a region, we need to address poverty, gender inequality, political stability, racism and other issues, too.

4. Examine the deeper issues closer to home.

Given the long history of Western colonialism, we can see why some members of the Global South might be resistant to anything associated with the West—including Christianity. Their quarrel may not be with Jesus alone—maybe it’s with imperialism. Their issue might not actually be with the Bible as it is with being dominated by global superpowers and oppressive politics.

Religious violence is never acceptable. Yet for those who bear a more reasonable resistance towards Christianity, we might want to ask why.

The reputation of our western identity

Maybe it is because of Jesus. Or maybe it’s also because the West hasn’t always been good for the rest of the world. We’ve used developing nations to exploit their workers, consume their natural resources and dump our electronic waste on their soil, contribute largely to sex tourism and launch well-intentioned charities that do more harm than good. We may not endorse any of these behaviors. In some cases, only the few elite actually participate in them. But unfortunately, it’s still tied to our western identity, which Christianity is often lumped into.

Yes, the problem behind martyring Christians is that people are broken and prone to sin. But Christians are broken, too. Christians persecute and kill people of other faiths, too. Yet all of us have a right to live without oppression. All of us need redemption. All of us need to know we’re loved by God even though we sin.

Addressing religious persecution is no simple task—and we have little human power over the extremes of radicalism or fundamentalism. But that doesn’t absolve us from doing the small things that are in our power to do. We all can help shift the cultural values and perceptions that justify violence.

Sometimes that means graciously hearing perspectives from other faiths and educating others about what Christianity is really all about.

And other times, it means we might want to do things differently closer to home, too.

By Katie Bergman